I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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