out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
