I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
