Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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