rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
two words: eviction party
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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