If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
ttyl tear gas
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize