I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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