The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
