In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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