try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize