Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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