can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
