Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
