I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
