Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
