Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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