she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
