i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
