so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My penis needs a shock collar
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
