1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
