Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
