She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize