turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
