Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
