Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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