my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
