Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
