I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
