Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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