By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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