It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
