mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
