I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
