She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
