What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
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