I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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