other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Randomize
