When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
