Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
tell me about the fingering
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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