Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
