At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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