can we get nightvision for the apartment?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
