I think i sorta joined a cult last night
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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