My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
