ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize