My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
