marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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