I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
