i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
