Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
