Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
