I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
