LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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