you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
