he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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