yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
