I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
