her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
