have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She even gives head with a lisp.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
