My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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