Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
