I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
