i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
