Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
