I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
