Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Your tits are I can't wait for
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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